Three Things to Consider When He Meets Your Parents

For many budding couples, meeting each other's family is often a time of fun and confusion as two worlds collide. Of course, the most important thing you will get from this adventure is the stamp of approval or disapproval of your relationship from the hosting family. For many people, this is a key factor that will either make or break the future growth of the relationship.

If your potential mother in law disapproves, that might influence your boyfriend's opinion of you for better or for worse. On the other side, if he is visiting your family and is having difficulty fitting in, you might see it as a bad sign.

How big of a role should your extended families play is helping you decide, "Is he the one?" While your family's opinion of your significant other should play a part in this decision, you cannot allow it to be the determining factor in the fate of your relationship. Here are a few things that are helpful in deciding to take your relationship to the next level after meeting the family.

1. Watch how he interacts with family

If you are the guest, now is a great time to get the inside peek of how he will probably treat you in the future. Pay especially close attention to how he treats his mother. Most of us let our hair down around family and show our true selves. If you notice your boyfriend is rude or demeaning to his mom, watch out! However, if you see him respecting her, serving her and including her, you might have keeper. Often, men end up treating their wives similarly to how they treat their mothers.

If he is visiting your family, now is the time to see how he fits in with your loved ones. Does he easily find common ground with your dad or brothers? Is he kind and respectful to your mom? Or is he making it hard to be home for the holidays by hogging your attention and insisting that you keep doing your own thing as a couple? These are all things to contemplate when deciding if he is the one.

2. Take into consideration the feedback you get from family.

More than likely, the hosting family will directly or indirectly let you know what they think of your relationship. How deeply you value family approval will determine how much weight this has on your relationship. Take these two things in mind when accepting or rejecting your family's opinion.

First, family feed back will almost always be emotional. Second, ask for your family to be specific in their feedback. "I don't like him" isn't helpful. However, when probing further, your dad may tell you that he doesn't seem to be responsible and capable of taking care of you, which is important to him. Deciding whether this feedback has merit depends on how important it is to you personally that your boyfriend is able to care for you.

3. Realize that it takes more than family approval to decide, "Is he right for me?"

Your family's response is a valuable resource in deciding whether to pursue a relationship further. They might point out things you have overlooked, and you get a chance to see your boyfriend in an important setting for the future. However, there are many other things to consider before deciding, "Is he the one?" After all, you are going to be the one living with this guy, not your family, not his family. Ultimately, this decision must be made considering other factors, like compatibility and universal relationship truths.

So, enjoy the family time. Discover more about one another, and use other resources to help decide if he is the one.

Wendy Bridger, MSSW, relationship expert, speaker and author, is co-creator of "Is He Right For Me?" an online interactive course full of information and personality quizzes to help you decide if he is the one.

Go to http://www.IsHeRightForMe.com to find out more.